It’s interview time!
Unlike previous interviews on this blog, this week I am going to interview someone who is not me.
Well, technically, I created her, so I guess there could be some debate as to whether or not I am just sitting here talking to myself again.
So, rather than argue with me about whether or not I am talking to me, let’s get to the interview with…Red!
Thanks for joining us today, Red.
Umm…ok. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? I understand you live in Seattle, but are you from Washington State originally?
I can’t possibly see how that information is necessary here.
Er, it’s not necessary; I just thought the folks reading this might be curious to know that sort of thing. Pretty standard interview fare, you know, where are you from, what do you do, that sort of thing.
Fine. I’m from the Northeastern part of the United States. I don’t think I need to be more specific than that.
And what do you do?
I handle online customer support for a company I’d rather not name.
I see. So, you answer questions via email and online chat? That sort of thing?
I handle online customer support.
Do you work from your apartment?
Who told you I have an apartment?
Uh, no one. I mean, I guess I did. Er…
What exactly does that mean? Who do you work for?
No one. Honest. Sorry. Let’s move on. Do you have any hobbies?
Hobbies? What am I twelve?
Sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate…
I have interests, interests in which I am passionately invested. Interests which could have global implications far beyond anything you could begin to comprehend.
Global implications? What are you talking about?
Why not here? This is my house. Oh my word, IS SOMEONE WATCHING MY HOUSE??
You can never be too careful.
Are you a spy?
I’m going to guess that you watch a lot of television. Don’t be ridiculous.
Let me ask you, do you watch a lot of Disney movies?
What does that have to…? What’s a lot? I mean, I’m sure I’ve seen my fair share, but…
This isn’t going well, is it?
It never does.
Let’s change the subject. How do you feel about your new roommate?
I don’t have a new roommate.
If I did have a roommate, I would certainly hope she doesn’t ask as many annoying questions as you do. And I’d prefer that she didn’t wear animal print.
What’s wrong with animal print? ::shifts to cover leopard print Snuggie::
Besides the obvious hypersexualization of women?
Umm. Yes. Besides that. Obviously.
There are signs all around us, Amber. Everywhere. It’s just one of the many signs. You have to learn to pay attention. We all have to start paying attention.
Before it’s too late.
I don’t know why, but you have officially creeped me out by using my name. I think I have somewhere to be.
Good. If anyone asks, I was never here.
Uh, it will be just between us…
…and, you know, all of you reading. Just do me a favor and don’t tell Red about my blog, okay? She’s a little…odd.
I really should have interviewed Anton. Maybe next time.
If you haven’t been keeping up with the Tell Me a Story series and want to know who Red is, head here to get started. For the faithful readers, the next part is coming Thursday. If you are enjoying the series, share it with friends.
What would you have asked Red? What questions do you think I need in my back pocket for the next interview?
Keep your comments and suggestions coming!