“Mommy, is Eli asleep yet?”
I lay a hand on Eli’s tiny chest, feeling it move up and down ever so slightly with each sleepy breath. I did the same when Jonas was a baby.
I still do it to him now when he is sleeping especially sound.
Reassured that my little 7 month old is down for the count, I whisper back, “He’s asleep now, Jonas.”
“Can we cuddle?”
I ease myself down the length of the King size bed, to the foot where Jonas lies.
Laying next to me, he takes my hand and wraps my arm around him, asking me to hug him tightly. He tells me about the next movie he is going to write, and all the things he is going to do and be when he grows up. He talks about visiting his cousins, about going to Canada someday, and says a prayer.
His tense little body relaxes, and I can tell he is ready to drift off.
I give him another squeeze, then wait a few minutes before I move back to the top of the bed, where I slowly wedge myself in the gap left between his baby brother and some pillows.
I’ve stopped feeling guilty about my 5 year old’s inability to sleep on his own. We’ve tried so many things. And we’ll continue to try more.
But we’ve learned there are reasons why he has such a hard time falling asleep alone in his own bed.
And it’s a relief, knowing. A relief not feeling like we’ve somehow failed him.
Like I missed something important in my mommy training.
And, in all honesty, it’s kind of nice having a reason to soak in that time with him.
Those few moments of the day where he is still. Where he isn’t talking a mile a minute. Where he is perfectly content to just be cuddled and have quiet conversation.
Who knows when that will end?
I may wake a few more times a night when he has a bad dream, or I may not be able to stretch my legs out the way I would normally.
But that’s okay. Because it won’t be this way forever.
So, for now, I’ll enjoy it for what it is.
Quiet moments with my little boy.
Life has been very much in the way of writing anything here lately, so, today is my chance to get one last post in before 2015. Uhh, TWENTY FIFTEEN. Where is my robot assistant, you guys? ::waves hand over self-opening garbage can:: Well, I guess that will do. And I CAN make food and all sorts […]
I haven’t written much about writing and publishing on this blog – and there are a lot of reasons for that. The primary reason is… *snorrrrrrrrre* Ahem. What was I saying? Right. I don’t blog a lot about writing and publishing. Partly because giving advice about the subject isn’t something I am normally passionate about […]
Thanks to all here on the blog (and other places on the interwebs) for the positive feedback about last week’s sneak peek. Originally, I planned to give you a little taste of something else today – one of my other projects – but given the FREE promotion going on right now for The Ruth […]
Trying something new today! In an effort to get moving on several fiction projects I’ve got going, I’m sharing a little bit of fiction with you all on Fridays. Some may be bits of works in progress, some may be brand new ideas, some may even be stories I’ll create just for the blog (remember […]
Every time I type the letters WAHM, aside from visions of Carlton-style dancing to “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”, I see a perfect scene. A stylish housewife, hair and nails perfectly done, pulling baked goods from the oven while she looks over his little ones painting projects, before sitting down at her sewing machine […]
This whole raising two kids and working at the same time business has left me little time for anything else (including sleep). Even now, sitting at my desk on a Monday that I don’t have to work, there are a million things I need to do. And also, I have the plague. Or a cold. […]